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Philippians 1:18b-26 (ESV)
Yes, and I will rejoice, 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 24 But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.
I enjoy passages like this one because it gives us some insight into what Paul is thinking and even feeling about his circumstances. At this moment, we know that Paul is in prison and waiting on the outcome of Roman justice. Rome didn’t tolerate troublemakers and in that cultural context, troublemakers, especially those who proclaimed a king other than Caesar, were quickly dispatched.
Paul is waiting for what Roman justice might decide about his life; will they release him or kill him? In this passage, Paul shares his love for Jesus with us. His desire is to be with Jesus and his death would usher him into the presence of the Lord.
But if Paul lives, as he believes he will, it’s also a blessing as he gets to care for and strengthen the churches he planted. In addition, he can continue to share the Gospel with the Gentiles because there are more that still need to hear the Good News about Jesus.
So for Paul, it’s a win-win situation, and he is ready for either outcome.
But that doesn’t negate what Paul is feeling at this moment. We know from other passages that there were times when Paul’s feelings reached incredible lows, and he talks about being completely burdened beyond his strength and even falling into despair (2 Corinthians 1.8).
As I think about this passage, I’m thinking about Paul’s convictions and emotions, his beliefs and feelings. On the one hand, we have Paul, a towering Christian whose life of faith has left a legacy that touches your life and mine. On the other hand, we have Paul, the human being, who at times during his amazing ministry felt just as you and I do: tired, worn, frustrated, and even having moments of despair.
Paul’s emotions ebbed and flowed between great joy and great sorrow, but his belief never wavered.
Part of maturing in faith is learning the difference between steadfast belief and feelings. Feelings will come and go but our conviction regarding the person of Jesus and the promises of God found in Scripture is a sure foundation upon which we stand.
If our faith was based on our feelings, then our faith wouldn’t be worth very much. Our faith would be very shaky, and at times, we would have no faith at all because our emotions are always changing.
However, if our faith is based on sure conviction, then our circumstances and our feelings won’t alter our belief. Joy and hope remain even when our feelings don’t support those convictions.
Paul’s faith was based on his belief, not his emotions, which is why he had joy and hope even in these circumstances as he wrote this letter.
That same joy and hope is ours because of Jesus. He is with us always. He is sovereign over all things. He will complete the work that He started in my life and in yours.
I want to encourage you to remind yourself of those truths, especially when your feelings might pull you in a different direction.
God bless you and know that you are prayed for this day.
Scott
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